Do You Hear Me?

Sometimes I know that God is near me.

Sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I feel like my prayers bounce off the ceiling and God simply has forgotten about me.

The past month has been a "God is being quiet month."

I know he is still there.  I know he is still whispering, "Keep walking."

But I can BARELY hear that guy you know!

So, he puts me near people who are seeing their prayers answered, people who are having miraculous things happen in their life.

There is a man in my home church who is in his 60's or 70's.

He just moved into an apartment after living with his daughter and her family for a long time.

When he moved in he had no furniture to speak of save a bed and a few other things.

A week after he moved in the woman next door to him had to go into a nursing home permanently.

The woman's daughter told the man from my home church he could have whatever furniture he needed.

He has a nice chair to sit in now and a kitchen table.  He has a microwave on the way and all the food that was in her pantry and refrigerator is now in HIS pantry and refrigerator.

God is like that.

He is the provider of all that we need.

I hope the woman who is going into a nursing home knows about Jesus.  I think her time to leave this world is very near.

So I will keep walking and waiting for God to answer my prayers.

I need money to go to lunch with a friend I have not seen in a long time.

My kids are going with me too, so they will need to eat.

I'll let you know how that turns out.

Are you listening God?  I'm waiting.

Susan Boyle

You all know Susan Boyle right?

American Idol,

everyone thought she would make a fool of herself,

and then she sang with the voice from another world and knocked everyone's socks off.

She made me cry.

I was watching her American Idol performance just a few nights ago with Oz on YouTube and she STILL makes me cry.

Do you want to know why?

Because here is this normal, plain woman who nobody thinks will do much of anything.  BUT, then she opens her mouth and out comes the most beautiful voice you have EVER heard.

Everyone wants that one shining moment.
Everyone wants that moment where people stand up and cheer.
Everyone wants to be validated.
Everyone wants to count for something.

Well, Susan Boyle did it!
She made people take notice and I love that about her.

But what about me?

You do not want to hear me belt out a tune.
I can paint, but I'm not the kind of painter that will EVER be hung in a museum.
I'm a pretty good mom and wife, but very few people know about that...and even fewer care.
I'm an okay cook.
I'm an okay friend.
I'm pretty much just okay...nothing tremendously special.

But do you know what?

God says that one day when life is done that if we have followed him as faithfully as we know how he will greet us and say in front of legions of angels and all the millions of Christians that have gone before us and he will say, "Well done good and faithful servant."

That will be my Susan Boyle moment....only WAY better.

I live to hear, "Well done."

Can't wait to see you God.

He Gave Me Flowers!!!!!

I have been praying a lot lately about my future and my dreams.

Me.  Me.  Me.  Me.  Me.  Me.

I have been worried that maybe God has forgotten about the desires of my heart.  Things I want, but don't really need.  Things I hope for beyond all hope.

I I I I I I I

You might see where I am going with all this.

I can be self obsessed.  Maybe some of you can relate.

  But guess what happened today?

I was at the supermarket with four kids stocking up and enjoying the whole thing quite a bit.

Then, I saw them.

FLOWERS!!!!!!

They were particularly beautiful, and I really wanted to buy a bunch for myself.  This is rare for me, I can pass up flowers almost any day of the year, but today, my heart just yearned for some.

It's almost spring, but not quite...and a bunch of flowers would just brighten up my house until the real deal of spring got here.

So do you know what I did?

Nothing.  I was responsible; knowing that we are low on cash and doing are best not to waste money.

So, I passed up those pretty things and just bought our groceries.

The day went on and THEN guess what?

My friend came to visit me and what did she have in her hand?  The very flowers I had been looking at.

Now mind you, she has NEVER brought me flowers before.  Never, ever, ever.

But today she did. 

And do you now what else?

God really gave me those flowers because he wanted me to know something.

And he wants you to know it too.

He knows your thoughts and the deepest desires of your heart.  He sees them and does not forget them.  He cares about the dreams you think will never come true.  He passionately wants you to know he loves you.  And he might even bring you flowers.  He brought me some just today.

"How amazing are your thoughts concerning me.  How vast the sum of them.  Were I to count them they would outnumber the grains of sand."

Psalm 139:17 and 18

How did King David know that about God?  

Well, he did.  And now I know it too.  

Thanks for bringing me flowers God.  I know you haven't forgotten me.

He has not forgotten you either.

Law

So I have always been mystified by King David who said, "I love you commandments, Oh Lord."

Because every time I look at those things I feel oppressed...and depressed

Because look at some of these babies:

Don't lie (guilty)

Don't want things that other people have and you don't (coveting) Damn those Jonses.

Don't murder (okay, the only one I haven't done)EXCEPT for that Jesus said if you hate anyone you have more or less killed them...okay, so I'm GUILTY again.

Honor your parents (I blew that one out of the water when I was in High School)

Love God more than anyone else (okay, if it weren't for loving myself so much, I might have this one pegged)

No idols (I guess I'll have to get rid of my shrine to Justin Bieber now)

Rest once a week (REST????  I have four kids, I can't rest)

Don't steal (I "borrowed" money from Oz the other day without asking...hmmmmmm.)

Don't swear by using God's name (sigh)

Don't commit adultery (sleep with someone who is not Oz)

So on this test I've got a 10 out or 10!!!!! (p.s. I've been faithful to my Oz...so let's not talk about this embarrassing subject any more).

Except this is the kind of test that's like golf, the lower your score the better!

So here is my score......FAIL.

So why would that crazy King David love God's law so much.  I think it's kind of a bummer.

Then I remember something in Romans 6

Here goes:  

²⁰ The law was brought in so that the trespass(bad stuff) might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, ²¹ so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

So that's good?  God wants us to sin???

What the heck?

Well, we know God doesn't want us to sin, he wants us to know we can't help but sin.  Because if we know that, maybe we will look for another way to be good...we will fall at his feet and cry for mercy.

And He promises to give it to us...so I REALLY REALLY like this God guy.

Back to King David...I read something the other day that made me realize how David could love the law.

"Sin is not hurtful because it is forbidden, it is forbidden because it it hurtful"

A guy named Benjamin Franklin said that.

God does not want us to hurt.

And sin, though it is alluring and pleasurable for a little while, has the end result of biting one back doulbe for any pleasure it gave out.

Ow.

I don't want to hurt, so I think I do love the law.

But I love the grace of God even more, because I have broken the law so many times and will continue to do so until the day I die.

Go grace go!!!!

And thanks Jesus.

God, Can I have a Waffle?

Sometimes praying is like talking to someone on a cell phone when they are in a basement, or a building made of cinder block or in a dreaded dead zone.

You know, you talk and you can't hear the person on the other end.

So you don't know if they can hear you.

I had a conversation with Oz like that tonight.

I was at the local grocery store and he called me.  I could hear him loud and clear.

But the giant grocery store bunker type walls wouldn't let my voice out.

So I heard this:

"Will you get me some waffles?  Can you hear me?

Will you get me some waffles?

I can't hear you, so if you can hear me will you get me some waffles?

Okay, I hope you can hear me."

Of course I was on the other end of the phone hearing everything just fine.

Laughing and thinking, "I'll get your waffles." 

But this is how I feel sometimes when I pray.

Can you hear me God?  If you can hear me can you help me with______?

Okay, I know you can help me with _________, I'll talk with you later.

Okay, Amen.

But when I stop to think about it, I wonder if God heard my request.  'Cause there could be dead zones or God might be in a cinder block heavenly building or something.

And sometimes I wonder if He can hear me.

All the while God is probably laughing thinking; I can hear you just fine.

I hear your request and it's as easy for me to get it to you as it is for you to get waffles for Oz.

And that's true.

idols

Once upon a time I thought of an idol as being a carved primitive looking human like statue made of wood with raffia hair that strange people sat in a semi-prominent area of their home.  There were candles around it and maybe some flowers and pictures of stuff they needed or wanted.

No more.

Idols have become something far more real.

Far more scary.

Oz came home tonight and announced, "I have an idol."

What? I expected him to pull out a strange wood carving from behind his back, but instead he said, "My idol is my life...I like being alive too much."

Well I like being alive too.

My idol isn't life itself...my idols go like this:

Me, what I want to do, my kids and what I want for them, Oz and his life....and then....

Well, let's just say there are a lot of them.

But then I remember that and idol is something that takes the place of the real God.

The real God.

It's a fake, a forgery, a deception.

So to undermine the idols, we have to know the real thing.

Because who would want a fake when you could know the real thing?

Not me.

God is like TOM-TOM

Hello,

My computer cord was bent all to pieces.

Last week it decided it had had enough.

So I ordered a new cord.  

It took a while to get to my house.

But now I have it, and I can write again.

God is like TOM-TOM.

Do you have a GPS for your car?  I do not, and I do not want one, but I am sure at some point that I will have no choice.  

Oz has one.

I'm more the map type.  I regularly carry a map of the cities that surround me AND a map of the state I live in.  

I have also been known to carry around a map of the United States.

Because you never know when you might need that thing.

It is good to be able to have a big picture of where you are going, what obstacles may be in your way (ie, small towns with excessively slow speed limits) what cross roads are near where you are turning and what major intersection will mark the "I've gone too far and need to turn around" point.

Maps are great.  One can really get a full picture of where one has been and where one is going.

God is like that sometimes.

He's especially like that when it comes to the important things.

But lately God has been a TOM-TOM.

You probably know how the TOM-TOM is.  TOM-TOM has ALL the information in his little box like body.  TOM-TOM knows exactly where to turn, TOM-TOM gives directions as you need them, TOM-TOM can even tell you how fast you are going in the small towns with excessively slow speed limits.

BUT TOM-TOM NEVER GIVES YOU THE WHOLE PICTURE!!!!!

The TOM-TOM infuriates me sometimes, but I have learned that the TOM-TOM is rarely incorrect.

I have leaned that I can trust the TOM-TOM to give me highly accurate directions that get me where I need to go. 

God has been like TOM-TOM lately.

For the life of me, I cannot get the big picture of what he is trying to do in my life.

I only know that I can't seem to get any long range views of anything.

God has allowed me to see only one turn ahead (if that).

 He has never given me inaccurate directions or accidentally steered me over a cliff.

I am learning to trust Him even when the way seems uncertain to me.

God has all the information, the whole map inside his brainy mind.

It infuriates me that sometimes he won't just unfold the whole map for me to look at, but I know he is not going to guide me off course.